While honesty is important in a relationship, it also has its boundaries.
by Sandy Cordeiro, TheSoko.com
While women's personalities are as different as their fingerprints, there are still a few lines that seem to miff the female sex universally. To keep you men out of the dog house, follow this list of comments that should never be uttered to the ladies.
Honey, Have You Gained Weight?
At number one on the list, this jaw-dropping question should be an obvious hazard. While a man's intentions behind such a query may be simple and innocent, a woman's interpretation will be that her significant other now sees her as fat.
Modern concepts such as the metrosexual have brought male grooming and body image into the forefront. However, the billion dollar industries of cosmetics, skin care, and women's fitness proves that the importance – and, dare I say, self-conscious fixation – on physical appearance still remains strongest among females. So boys, while a few pounds may seem insignificant to you, the very mention of such a thing to your lady will have her believing her weight gain is obvious to the world.
Your job is to support her feeling beautiful and confident in herself, not to be the very source of her self-consciousness. And no, telling her that you like a bit of meat on your woman does not help the situation!
You Look Fine, Let's Go.
Fine? Men can describe in great length and varied vocabulary their appreciation for physical beauty. However, all too often that extends only to the realm of automotives, sporting teams and Sports Illustrated swimsuit models.
When girlfriends/wives around the world step out of the bathroom on a Friday night to get their guys' opinions, they are usually met with any response that will get them out of the house the quickest. Shockingly, women care what their significant others think and they often put time-consuming efforts into looking their best. It's only natural for all people to want to receive complimentary remarks and looks of awe from the ones they love.
The word fine simply expresses – or at least it will be interpreted – that you don't really care enough to give her a minute of your time or attention. So stop being in such a rush and actually look at her! You may actually realize that your lady looks even hotter than a brand new Ferrari.
Pull My Finger!
Once a couple has been dating/married for some time, it is completely normal for both of them to be completely comfortable with each other – maybe even too comfortable. Not only do long-term loves often stop attempting to outright impress their significant others, but they also begin letting their unbecoming flaws and habits shine through.
While the display of gross-out stunts and melodic bodily functions may be seen by girlfriends/wives as amusing at very rare, psychotic or giddy times, it is not to be incorporated into the daily relationship routine. When it comes down to it a girlfriend/wife is just that-- a girl. She is not one of the guys and, as a result, will not have the intense necessity to hear a fart joke at any given moment.
While your woman may be able to get as raunchy or disgusting as any of your male buddies, she is in the end a lady and probably would appreciate if she was treated as such every blue moon.
Come to Daddy.
To say it mildly fellas, many of you need some serious help in the romance department. A woman should be courted. The good manners and intimate gestures need to commence from the second your lady walks through the door instead of at the night when crunch time is approaching.
Paying attention to her when she speaks, opening up doors and showing gentle signs of affection lets a woman know that you respect and truly care about her. That way, when more intimate aspects of the relationship present themselves, your lady will be more trusting and ready to get close rather than be expected to heat up at the flip of a switch.
Whoa, Did You See That Girl?
In actuality, your lady may often point out other women herself while commenting on their hair, body, etc. Your job when she starts this sisterhood comparison is to look quickly and try not to react too strongly. However, danger more specifically looms when the guy in the relationship is the first to spot another noticeable female while out on the town.
The best rule in such a situation is to keep such a spotting to yourself. There are many women out there who are completely self-assured and confident enough to deal with their boyfriends/husbands pointing out other pretty women. However, many – and I believe deep down even the most confident ones – usually feel that the male act of pointing out a complete stranger somehow puts into question their own beauty. The mention suddenly puts your lady into competition with a woman she doesn't even know.
And finally, please do not attempt to back-pedal or boost female confidence by pointing out a scandalously-dressed woman. Acting shocked and stating the horrors of some women dressing so inappropriately doesn't win the boyfriends of the world any points. Your girlfriend will only be reassured that you were in fact staring at a half-naked girl, and then creatively decided on a negative spin for her benefit.
___________________________________
watch your mouth
Since you know your girlfriend/wife inside out, it's best to use common sense before you say anything. Avoid commenting on something she's sensitive about and remember that respect is important above all. If you show her that you care in the smallest way, you'd be amazed at how much she'll notice.
posted by JCandKim @3:29 PM
... thank you God for our family ...
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