for months, i would look outside our bedroom window at night ... see the city lights ... if it was early in the evening, i would even be able to see the rocky mountains ... as i looked out the window ... my heart would start to feel heavy and i would begin to feel sad ... so then i would close the blinds and walk away ...
for months and months, i would do this ... look out the window at night ... start to feel sad ... close the blinds ... walk away ...
it got to the point that at night, i would always have the blinds closed b/c the city lights would depress me ...
... and just last month, i figured out why i got so sad when i would see the city lights at night ...
when jc and i were dating ... during every visit close to the time where i would have to leave for b.c. ... i would stand by the window at night ... i would look out at the city lights knowing that i would have to leave soon ... this always broke my heart ... this feeling (of course) always followed with tears of sadness ... (which of course i always cried my last 2-3 days in calgary and then at least 3-4 days in bc when i got home!)
so last month, when i finally figured out that the night time city lights made me sad b/c of our separation when we were dating ... i had a long talk with jc and asked if a couple nights a week if we could drive around the city at night so that i would finally 'kick' this feeling away ...
the first night jc brought me out for a drive, he drove me downtown and showed me where we had our first dinner in calgary ...
since then, jc has driven me around the city countless times at night and now i don't feel so sad (well, only when jc is working nights) when i look out at the city lights at night ...
... the best part is that after looking at the city lights, i can crawl into bed and know that my husband is always there ...
... no more of this long distance stuff !!!
Thank you God !!!!!!
posted by JCandKim @3:34 PM
... thank you God for our family ...
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